Viva la Jessica

October 21, 2014 | 01:52 AM | 248,850 notes
foie:

thecutestofthecute:

My friend saw on Animal Planet that Golden Retriever’s mouths are so soft they can carry eggs without breaking them, so she tested it. 

I am tearing up

foie:

thecutestofthecute:

My friend saw on Animal Planet that Golden Retriever’s mouths are so soft they can carry eggs without breaking them, so she tested it. 

I am tearing up

(Source: reddit.com, via thefuuuucomics)

October 21, 2014 | 01:43 AM | 84,006 notes

lancrebitch:

alonetogether-forever:

lazynbored:

I wanna live like this llama

Please unmute this. 

omg unmute it seriously

(Source: vine.co, via thefuuuucomics)

October 21, 2014 | 01:29 AM | 222,344 notes
October 18, 2014 | 11:33 PM | 5 notes

(Source: lokalrunde)

October 18, 2014 | 11:32 PM | 62,010 notes
October 18, 2014 | 04:24 AM | 832,337 notes

unofficiallyjuni:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

sigfodr:

A version for tumblr that can be read without opening a new tab, since plenty of people would scroll past this story otherwise.

The bravest woman on Earth.

I love her. Forever reblog.

(via thefuuuucomics)

October 17, 2014 | 04:00 PM | 714,754 notes
marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:


A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

marionisamuffin:

pleasantandcain:

fromladytolifter:

candidlycara:

dance-in-the-shadows:

gracediamondsfear:

wifeyknowsbest:

whatapreciouslittlefuckfox:

A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!

Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!

this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.

i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.

God.

My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”

THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.

THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.

it worked, but not before I laughed for days.

For that last comment.

I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.

Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.

On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.

Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?

Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?

Story time:

I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”

Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.

Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.

It got better.

(Source: erospainter, via thep-lastics)

October 17, 2014 | 04:54 AM | 355,723 notes

misandry-mermaid:

scandalouslyfollowing:

nuric:

cap-out-of-time:

schwoozie:

[x]

ooc: Reblogging because holy shit.

I aspire to be this woman when I’m older. 

YASSSSSSS!

This woman was born before women were legally allowed to vote.

So don’t think for a second that she’s joking when she sees you trying to take that right away, Republicans.

(via show-class-not-ass)

October 17, 2014 | 04:45 AM | 175,148 notes

rnusicality:

fun statistics for adults!
“when I was a kid, I had no help with college tuition, I was hardworking and paid it all myself”
-Annual tuition for Yale, 1970: $2,550
-Annual tuition for Yale, 2014: $45,800
-Minimum Wage, 1970: $1.45
-Minimum Wage, 2014: $7.25
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 1970: 4.8
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 2014: 17.3

(via ocarinasoftime)

October 17, 2014 | 04:43 AM | 166,821 notes
superrobel:

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."
- Josh Billings 

superrobel:

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself."

- Josh Billings 

(via thep-lastics)

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